Helping Mom Handle Dad's Death

Hello. My father passed away (due to medical mistakes and infections acquired at the hospital) a year ago. I am an only child. My mother is not dealing with this very well at all, but won't go to counseling or support groups. She has always been a bit difficult to deal with, but is even more so now. I believe I need some counseling as to how to deal with her and help her without setting off fireworks. Advice? Thank you.

Barb in Georgia, 58

It appears that you are very concerned about your mother, and I appreciate that. But I must say that sometimes the old adage is true: you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. My experience is that you can’t change other people. All we can ever do is change ourselves and be aware of our reactions. Although you love you mother, if you have done all you can, it may be time to take care of yourself so that you don’t fall apart from this strain. Your mother needs you, and you need the strength to carry on.

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